The mind. A beautiful tool, yet often our most relentless taskmaster. It makes calculations, it forecasts, it remembers. It’s busy. So busy, in fact, that it can drag us away from the present, from the simple yet profound act of being here, now.
You live in the mind so much that the authentic living in the present seems elusive. We often forget that the present is the only moment that truly exists, the only moment we can live and feel. The past has already gone, the future is yet to come. The mind, however, has a peculiar way of painting vivid pictures of the past and future, making us live in an illusion rather than the reality of now.
Consider love, one of the most profound experiences in life. True love, the kind that arises from the heart, is uncalculated, unconditional, and pure. But too often, love gets trapped in the labyrinth of our minds, becoming a series of transactions rather than a spontaneous flow of affection. We give love with the expectation of receiving it back, and our minds are quick to calculate whether the love we receive is equal to what we gave. We see love as a transaction, where we give expecting a return. Our minds have turned it into an investment, where we measure the value of every smile, every gesture, every word. But remember, when love becomes a calculation, it loses its soul.
In the modern world, even the sacred act of making love has become a casualty of our overactive minds. Imagine this scenario, a man and woman, committed to each other, find themselves in the throes of passion. But even in this intimate moment, their minds are elsewhere. The man, while holding his wife, has his thoughts wandering towards his mistress. The wife, while kissing her husband, is lost in a fantasy about another man. The bodies are together, but the minds are miles apart.
This situation is a poignant illustration of the great divide between the mind and the present moment. You see, the mind is not bound by the constraints of time and space. It can travel back to the past, dwell on regrets, or replay sweet memories. It can launch into the future, painting images of desires, fears, and expectations. It can transport us to places and people far removed from our current reality. And in the process, we lose touch with the present, with the person right beside us, with the act we are involved in.
The irony is that while making love, an act designed to promote unity and connection, our wandering minds create disconnection and separation. The physical act might be with one person, but the emotional and mental engagement is with another. This not only disrupts the genuine exchange of energy and affection but also denies us the joy of authentic intimacy.
If we delve a little deeper, we may find that this phenomenon is not restricted to love-making alone. It is simply a symptom of a greater malaise – our inability to be fully present in any given moment. Whether we are eating a meal, walking in the park, or conversing with a friend, our minds are often elsewhere, thinking about something or someone else. And in doing so, we lose touch with the depth and richness of the present moment.
The cure lies not in suppressing these thoughts but in gently bringing our attention back to the present moment, to the sensations, emotions, and experience of now. Mindfulness is the key. Practicing mindfulness, even during the most intimate moments, can help us experience the depth and beauty of the act, enhancing not just the physical pleasure but also fostering a deeper emotional and spiritual connection.
This is the paradox of our human experience. We crave authenticity, yet we often sacrifice it on the altar of our mind’s calculations and expectations. We want to live truthfully, honestly, yet we shroud our actions in a facade of honesty that’s often motivated by fear, by the desire for approval, or the avoidance of punishment.
A child, in his innocence, can provide profound wisdom. When asked about honesty, he might confess, “I can’t be honest all the time.” Is this not the most honest statement a person can make? Yet, this honesty is met with indignation, creating a cycle of fear and pretense. The child, afraid of punishment, learns to lie about honesty. A mask is formed. A mask that we all wear in one form or another.
Living authentically, then, isn’t about constructing an elaborate facade of virtues. It’s about being present. It’s about the courage to acknowledge and express what we truly feel, free of calculation, expectation, or fear. It’s about allowing the mind to be, without letting it dictate our entire existence. It’s about awakening to the reality that authenticity exists not in the realm of thoughts and calculations, but in the silence and stillness of the heart, in the very essence of the present moment.
To live authentically, we need to shift from the mind to the heart, from the past and future to the present. This shift isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary if we wish to experience the depth and beauty of life. It requires us to let go, to trust, and to dive into the unknown.
Remember, authenticity isn’t about perfection. It’s about embracing your imperfections and living your truth. It’s about the courage to be you, to love, to laugh, to cry, to be vulnerable. It’s about letting your heart lead the way, without the need for any expectations or transactions.
To live authentically, we must step out of the theater of our minds and step into the theater of life. We must leave behind the calculations and transactions, and instead, embrace the spontaneous dance of existence. We must learn to be in the present, to experience life in its totality, in all its pain and pleasure, in all its glory and gloom. Only then can we truly live. Only then can we truly love. And only then can our virtues be a true reflection of our hearts. Let us let go of pretense, and embrace authenticity. This is the path to true living, the path to authenticity. Let us walk this path together.
